


Golden Dawn

by AllyUnabridged



Series: Redemption [2]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-03-01 05:09:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2760803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllyUnabridged/pseuds/AllyUnabridged
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bella learns to live with the Cullens as a vampire and enjoys torturing Edward in the process while he tries to win her back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shopping Trip

**Author's Note:**

> This is the sequel to "Darkest Night." As such, it probably won't make sense if you haven't read that one first since I diverge from canon from about the first third (okay, less) of _New Moon_ on. This is a take on what would have happened if Bella had been turned sooner versus later, and doesn't feature Jacob Black or Renesmee at all for those of you who may be confused.
> 
> Like "Darkest Night," this was written quite some time ago, but unfortunately it was one of the stories I let languish unfinished. I aim to fix that, but for right now it only has fourteen chapters. I will be posting them two at a time, once a week, in the hopes that doing that will force me to finish this thing. If you want to wait until it's complete, I totally don't blame you.
> 
> BPOV indicates Bella’s point of view, EPOV is Edward.
> 
> Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the rights, I'm just playing in her sandbox because I felt bad that Bella was such a mealy-mouthed twit in _New Moon_ and wish she'd gotten a spin earlier than _Breaking Dawn._

BPOV

If I could have gotten a headache, I would have by now. I love Alice like almost no one else, but how many stores was she going to drag me through? We weren't even home in Boston yet. At Alice’s insistence we'd taken a short detour to New York City. It wasn't until we were walking along 5th Avenue that I realized her true intentions.

“I don't need a new wardrobe, Alice. We can go back to Forks and--”

“No, we can't, Bella,” Alice interrupted me. For once she was serious. “Your father was murdered in his own house, and you disappeared on the same night. Not to mention that we disappeared that night, too, although we're supposedly in L.A. Now, how do you think the local authorities are going to look at all of that?”

I was forced to think about the consequences of that night in a new light. She was right. I could never go back. I wondered if anyone had noticed my missing clothes as well, only a day after the murder. I hated to even consider what they thought, but I said it aloud anyway, since I knew Alice was waiting for that. “They're probably thinking that I was in a rage when Edward left, murdered Charlie in some horrible fashion when he wouldn't let me go after you all, and then went into the forest to die as well. Maybe they'll assume that some animal got to me after I took care of myself the same way I did Charlie,” I said in a monotone. This wasn't what I had hoped for when I wanted to be turned into a vampire. I'd always imagined being able to keep in touch with Charlie and Renee somehow, even if it was only by email. This was wrong.

“Don't torture yourself over it, Bella,” Edward said softly, putting his arm around my shoulder as we walked. “You've done the only thing that could be done. You have your revenge on Victoria. That's all that any of us could have done.”

I nodded. I was too distracted by my grief to protest too much when Alice grabbed my hand and darted into a brightly lit store, pulling me along with her. Edward followed quietly behind us. Lucky Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme got to go on ahead to the hotel. I envied them that luxury.

“You have my measurements, Alice,” I said accusingly. “Why exactly do I have to be here?”

“Because you need to start doing things normally. You're going to have a pretty steep learning curve as it is. Pretending to be human isn't a one-day thing,” she said so quietly that only Edward and I were able to hear her. “There are a lot of things you need to learn.” Then she flashed a grin at me. “Plus I need a shopping partner, and I'm not currently talking to Rosalie.”

We all stayed quiet about that whole situation. Instead, I let Alice treat me as her own personal doll, finding the “best” clothes to flatter my admittedly beautiful new body and face. I wasn't sure about some of the things she bought, but I had to admit that she proceeded almost as quickly as I wished. Soon we were all loaded with bags and boxes, with more headed to the hotel ahead of us. I don't think I'd ever had so much money spent on me in my entire human existence.

By the time we reached the hotel, Jasper, Esme and Carlisle were settled in. I found myself wondering what vampires did in a hotel when we don't sleep. I soon had my answer.

Apparently, vampires play board games. While I'd seen Edward and Alice attempting to play chess together at home—I mean, back in Forks, I'd never witnessed what I was now party to. 

We played Monopoly. There are very few ways for even a psychic vampire to cheat at Monopoly, and Alice's gift didn't help as much as long as we were making spur of the moment decisions instead of planning strategy, so it was actually really fun. I was able to put aside my grief over my parents for the time being and simply enjoy being with this new family of mine in a way I'd only dreamed of. After I soundly trounced everyone at Monopoly, we moved on to group games like Pictionary. Really, you need to see a group of vampires playing Pictionary to understand it. We played women versus men, and Esme, Alice and I unfortunately lost. I teased Alice about this since she was such a good artist, yet Esme and I had such a hard time figuring out what she was drawing! We decided that she just took too long to make it into anything intelligible. 

Since it was supposed to be a sunny morning in NYC, we left before dawn. Our plane took off just as the golden rays of the sun began to rise over the horizon. It was beautiful to see the Atlantic Ocean gilded in light. I sighed a little as I put down the shade next to my first-class seat. The other Cullens put theirs down as well. Since we had the cabin to ourselves this trip, it was soon shrouded in shadows.

“I'm glad you're coming home with us,” Edward whispered to me, taking my hand in his. I was sure his family could still hear, despite the whisper, and if I could have blushed I would have.

“I'm glad, too,” I whispered back. We both settled against our headrests, content to sit there holding hands through the hour and a half flight.


	2. Arrival

BPOV

Thankfully, it was cloudy when we landed in Boston. I felt my stomach clench and my throat burn as the stewardess appeared to announce our safe arrival at the Boston Logan International Airport. I glanced frantically at Edward as I held my breath. He caught my gaze and nodded.

“We'll have to get some food as soon as we get home. I'm starving,” he said in a conversational tone. The rest of our family nodded and smiled, but I knew they'd heard the message. I had to hunt, fast!

It was torture to walk through the crowded airport, more than it had been yet, and I knew I'd gone too long without hunting. I was just thankful that the human blood I'd had before leaving Brazil seemed to have lasted for so long!

Carlisle hugged me as he helped me into the rental car they'd obtained. I knew he was proud of me for restraining myself. Really, I don't know how I did it. I barely paid attention as Edward got into the back seat with me. Esme slid into the front passenger seat. Carlisle drove us out of the city as fast as he could. I knew I didn't want to look at the speedometer; I was still Charlie's daughter, after all. We entered a forested area fairly quickly, although I wasn't sure how far away we actually were from Boston. I could smell small animals as soon as I stepped outside the car, though, which was promising. Small animals in a forest usually indicated larger animals that might be there to prey on them.

The first thing I noticed, besides the scents, was that Alice and Jasper had not followed us. I raised an eyebrow at Edward. He knew what I was asking immediately.

“They went on ahead. They don't need to hunt right now, and Alice...thought it might go better if they broke the news to Rosalie that you're moving in first, before we get there,” he told me quietly. Carlisle and Esme tried to pretend they couldn't hear as they started to head for the darkness of the trees.

I shrugged my shoulders slightly and grimaced. I guessed that something would have to be done about Rosalie, but I was too thirsty to figure out what just then. I smiled a little shyly at Edward, and then I was off! I laughed as I looked over my shoulder to see him staring after me. This promised to be much more fun than hunting alone.

I quickly caught the scent of deer and veered in that direction. I caught a glimpse of the herd as I slowed and then stopped. I crouched down, watching them, waiting to make my move. Edward stopped beside me, crouching low as well.

“Dibs on the buck,” I murmured so low that only he could hear. I lunged, my teeth sinking into the thing's neck. Before it had a chance to make a sound, I had it down on the ground and was sucking eagerly, letting the blood cool my throat. It wasn't as satisfying as the human blood had been, but Carlisle was right. It was the better thing to do.

I raised my head and looked around curiously. Only Edward and I were in the clearing where the herd had formerly stood. The rest had run off. I wondered idly if Carlisle and Esme were chasing them, or if they'd found some other prey.

“Satisfied yet?” Edward asked me.

I hissed. “Not likely. I need more,” I said. He laughed quietly and grabbed my hand. We were on our feet and running through the trees in the same second. I loved how free I felt, no longer trapped in a body that seemed to have a little bit too much affection for the ground.

We found a few more deer, possibly ones from the herd we'd originally hunted, and again Edward let me have the largest one. I could tell that he was worried about me, hoping I'd get enough animal blood in me to keep the lust for human blood at bay. I hoped I was getting enough, too.

After the second deer I felt full, but just in case I went for the final deer in this group, determined not to be a danger to any of my new family. Well, except maybe Rosalie. I couldn’t honestly bring myself to care very much if she was in danger since she didn’t seem to care about me enough to help the family come support me in the fight against Victoria.

Carlisle and Esme were waiting for us at the car. We all climbed back in for the ride home. I honestly don't think it took us longer than a few minutes before we were pulling into a drive very similar to the one at their house in Forks. It wound around for a bit before ending at one of the most elegant places I'd ever seen.

The house in Forks had been “modern” in design compared to this place. A huge brick monstrosity, it immediately won my heart. I'd never pictured living in a place like this, with its immaculately manicured lawns and a building that positively reeked of centuries of “fine living,” but it really did feel like home. I adored everything, from the lovely dark red brick to the gleaming windows in their leaded frames. No concern about lead here.

Of course, off to the side of the drive stood a much newer building. The garage looked like it was large enough to fit all of the family's cars and then some. I shook my head a little. I still didn't see the appeal of fast cars. Maybe I never would.

Edward got out of the car and stepped around to open my door, which I allowed. It was only fair to give him the chance to make things up to me his way, and I knew he'd been bothered by my not allowing his “gentlemanly” assistance in the past. Men could be so strange, even vampires.

I smiled at Esme and Carlisle as Edward took my hand and began leading me towards the front door. The big slab of polished wood opened before we got close, and Alice danced out, bubbling over about how she'd made sure my new clothes were put away just so and that she'd show me how my closet worked later. I just laughed a little and thought that as long as I could find the shirts and jeans, I'd be fine.

Jasper was waiting just inside the door. Suddenly, I was being hugged from different directions with many “Welcome homes” tossed at me, almost like confetti. It certainly felt like a homecoming! And there was Emmett coming down a flight of polished wood stairs, his smile just as big as everyone else's. He grabbed me for a hug of his own and shouted that his littlest sister was finally home.

That's when Rosalie appeared at the top of the stairs, and we all paused. The sudden tension swirled through our group at the door. I stepped away from the others hesitantly and waited.


	3. Change is Good For You

BPOV

I watched as Rosalie's lips tightened. I could practically feel the ice coming off of her, and that was funny because I was now the same temperature as everyone else. She raised her eyes slightly to the others, and then looked back at me. Those beautiful amber eyes narrowed a little, and then she nodded.

“Bella,” she said. No welcome, but at least there'd been an attempt at civility.

“Rosalie,” I replied. I drew out my pause, feeling the tension between us tighten. “It's so good to see you again. It's too bad you weren't able to make it to Brazil. It's lovely in Rio this time of year.”

Don't ask me where that came from, but when I saw the shock in her eyes that I'd actually managed to out-sophisticate her, it made me want to smile. I kept my expression cool instead, matching her icy look for icy look. I was surprised to discover that I might be good at this game, now that I was a vampire.

“Yes, too bad, wasn't it?” she murmured as she started down the stairs. Now why did she look more like she was stalking something? I wasn't going to let her beat me that easily. 

I turned swiftly. “Alice, weren't you going to show me my closet? I'm dying to see my room and get settled in,” I said as sweetly as I could. Lies, at least about the clothes, but who cared at this point?

Alice's eyes narrowed as well for a split second, then she grinned widely at me, bouncing up once. “Let's go!” she said, grabbing my hand. She pulled me up the stairs, slowing a little and turning her nose up at Rosalie as we passed her, and then kept a head-long rush up the stairs, as if she was afraid that I would change my mind. I heard Edward tell the rest of the family that we'd be down in a while, and then he too was climbing the stairs. No one said a word to Rosalie that we heard.

“That was great!” Alice whispered to me, her eyes gleaming wickedly as she led me down a long hallway. “I've never seen Rose look like that. I swear her eyes crossed! Two points for Bella!” She giggled again.

We stopped at the last door on the right. Alice flung it open and stepped inside, obviously doing a mental assessment as she waved me in.

“We really will need to redecorate, Bella,” I heard her say, but I was too lost in looking around the massive room.

One wall was dominated by a huge fireplace surrounded by cool white and black marble. Two dark blue couches with wood trim, obviously antiques that probably dated back from before Edward was born, flanked the fireplace, making it look like a cozy retreat. The drapes were a soft blue, lighter than the couches. A blue-toned oriental rug was spread across the gleaming dark wood floor, and on the other side of the room from the fireplace was—a pile of over-sized cushions in blue jewel tones. This took me aback at first. It was so different from the traditional look of the rest of the room. Then I realized that, while vampires didn't sleep, and it wasn't really a chore to remain standing, either, it might be nice to lounge, which those cushions would be perfect for.

“This was just an extra room before. I ordered a few things while we were still in Rio, over the Internet, and Emmett took the delivery this morning. Of course, he hadn't arranged anything the way it should have been, so I had a ton of work to do while you hunted, but I think it looks wonderful, don't you?” Alice babbled. She looked at me expectantly.

“It's beautiful,” I said softly. She smiled.

“I'm so glad you like it. I told Esme it would be best for you to be here while you and Edward work things out, and she agreed,” she continued airily. I more felt than saw Edward roll his eyes at her behind us. I wondered if he was upset that we wouldn't be sharing a room right away. Well, too bad. I liked my room. In fact, once I finally let him know that I forgave him for being so completely stupid as to lie to me about not loving me, I might just tell him to move his things into my room instead. I hadn't even seen his room yet, but there couldn't be anything better than this.

Alice was still going on as she walked over to a large door near the cushions. “Of course, this closet is so much larger than Edward's, which you really will need after everything we bought in New York. Come see, Bella,” she ordered, gesturing impatiently. Her eyes were so full of joy that I didn't let myself show the reluctance I felt as I walked over to her. I really wasn't looking forward to this very much.

It was worse than I expected. This was a whole separate room, for goodness sake! There was an entire wall of mirrors, three rows of rods for hanging clothes on another wall, and two walls of drawers. Alice kept me trapped in there for two hours, explaining how she'd organized everything, with Edward standing in the doorway smirking. I knew why he had that little smile, and it made me fume. If I hadn't been so anxious to one-up Rosalie at her little game of let's-pretend-to-be-civil, I wouldn't be stuck here letting Alice torture me.

I finally escaped when Esme and Carlisle called for the family to all meet up downstairs. We all converged in a beautifully appointed dining room that I was sure served the same purpose as their dining room in Forks had: a conference room.

Carlisle and Esme waited for everyone to be seated. I was settled quickly between Edward and Alice, his arm around my shoulders and her hand clutching mine like she'd never let go. I guess I hadn't realized how much she missed me. It was a nice feeling, a glow that filled me upon realizing that I finally had a sister. That warm feeling only dimmed slightly when I looked across the table to see Rosalie staring at us with her nose slightly wrinkled. I smiled at her politely and then looked back at Carlisle.

“I just wanted to officially welcome Bella to the family and do a little planning as to how to introduce ourselves to the community. I know we talked about it a few days ago, but things were...different then,” Carlisle said with a smile at me. I grinned back, perfectly content.

“I don't see why we have to change all of the plans we already have just because we've got one more vampire in the house,” Rosalie muttered. Trust her not to even be able to say “in the family.” 

“Change is good for you, Rosalie,” Edward drawled beside me. I turned a little to see him smile mockingly at his sister. I still couldn't think of her as mine, yet.

Esme cleared her throat. “Now, as Boston is more of a college town, I believe it's safe to let Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie begin attending college there immediately. And since Bella hasn't yet finished her first round in high school,” she went on with a smile for me, “I believe that it would be best if she, Alice and Edward go to the local high school for senior year.” She settled back, well satisfied with these plans.

Rosalie frowned at me. “You can't be serious. Bella's a newborn. There's no way she should be going to a high school full of humans right now,” she said scornfully. Obviously, no one had bothered to clue her in on that one yet. Or perhaps it was that she hadn't felt like listening. At this point, I could believe both.

“Bella's control is fantastic, far above what I would have expected. She was able to endure the flight from Rio to New York, and then from New York to here, quite easily, Rosalie. As long as she hunts every night, I don't see a problem with it. Alice?” Carlisle turned to Alice and raised his eyebrows at her.

Alice shook her head. “I don't see anything happening, although it's kind of vague right now. But if Edward and I can manage to get into all of Bella's classes, it shouldn't be too hard to keep her out of trouble,” she said, throwing me a grin.

Emmett shook his head and took Rosalie's hand as she opened her mouth again. “I'm sure she'll do great with you two there to watch out for her,” he said, giving his wife a warning glance. She shut her mouth and slouched in her chair a little, the first time I'd ever seen Rosalie do something as human as pout.

Then I thought of something. “I won't be able to register with school as Isabella Swan, will I?” I asked sadly.

Carlisle shook his head. “If it's alright with you, I will see that you are registered under the name Isabelle Cullen. That's close enough to your real name that you will answer to it, and yet not something that will give away who you really are. The official story will be that you are my niece, and that Edward and Alice are the children of a good friend who died, along with his wife, several years ago. I took you in when you were ten years old, and Edward and Alice came to us two years later. I think that this time it will be permissible for Emmett and Rosalie to be married, fresh out of high school. Emmett is Edward and Alice's older brother, whom I also took in. Jasper is Rosalie's brother, again, and is staying with us while he attends Harvard. Are there any questions? I really don't think it's much of a change from the story we were originally going to use, Rosalie,” he said pointedly.

There were no complaints. I was perfectly happy to go through my senior year of high school with Edward and Alice, just as we'd planned. I was sad that my mother and father wouldn't be there to see me graduate, though. Sometimes it felt as if the grief would overwhelm me, and sometimes I could press it down deep where I could ignore it for a while. As I thought about them missing my graduation, the emotion welled back up.

I stood up with the others and wandered back upstairs, the sudden thought of how much my human parents would miss because of their untimely deaths making me feel listless. I felt the concerned gazes of Esme and Jasper as I left. They must have noticed, each in their own way, the direction my emotions had turned. Edward followed after me swiftly, and I allowed him to enter my room and simply hold me, snuggled into the soft cushions on my floor, as I sobbed silently yet again for my loss.


	4. Acclimation

BPOV

After much pleading by Alice, Edward and me, Carlisle decided that we didn't need start school until the next Monday. That gave me a few days to get used to living full-time with the Cullens as a Cullen. I had to admit that I felt some relief at having those few days to give them my undivided attention, all of them, not just Edward. It seemed like I was learning something about my new family that I hadn't realized before every minute I was with them.

Esme, for instance, loved gardening. I realized that all of the fresh flowers that bedecked any home the Cullens were in must have been tended by her skillful hands. I'd taken it for granted before, but I didn't now. I discovered, after spending an hour with Esme in her garden the first day, that it was a very relaxing activity. I enjoyed the feel of the soil beneath my bare fingers. I wasn't as consumed by it as Esme, but it was nice, and I was pleased that I had so quickly found something we could share. Alice even joined us for about ten minutes, before her boundless energy and a practical joke Emmett was about to play on her while she was out of her room pulled her away.

After gardening with Esme, I went to Carlisle to ask him about nearby bookstores. I had noticed the built-in bookshelves in my room, but they were bare except for a few knick-knacks. I wanted to get my collection started again. He and I discussed books for a few hours. He had a unique perspective on Shakespeare, having lived so close to the great playwright's time. I found it fascinating to listen to his tales of life in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries. They were such a tumultuous time in Europe and America, and he'd been there through it all. We were lost in conversation when Edward strolled into the room. He smiled to see us settled into two of the comfortable chairs in Carlisle's office. He asked if he could join us, which we both enthusiastically agreed to. I spent another pleasant hour drilling Carlisle on the fine points of classical literature in relation to the reality of living during the time periods written about before I remembered my original intent. He gave me the names of several bookstores he used, recommending that I try to find original copies of the classics from these since money was no object. I balked at the idea at first, but it was definitely more appealing than going to a generic bookstore and picking up paperbacks. Old, well-kept books would fit the look of my room much more.

Oh, no, is Alice rubbing off on me? I thought. I supposed it was too late to worry about that, but it gave me an idea. As I left Carlisle's office, leaving Edward behind to discuss some medical condition I'd never even heard of, I listened for Alice.

I didn't have to wait long. Alice came dancing down the stairs, squealing. She ran down the hall and hugged me, twirling around in a circle.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she cried happily.

“I'm only agreeing to go with you if we hit the bookstores as well as the clothing stores,” I told her firmly.

Alice giggled. “That's fine, Bella! I do know how to read, you know.” She grinned when I raised my eyebrows. “Well, they do make books about fashion and design! Oh, I can't wait! We're going to have so much fun. We have four hours to shop, so we need to get going now!” She began pulling me towards the door before I knew what was happening.

“Now, every good shopping trip needs a plan of attack. Are there any specific stores you want to hit?” Alice asked as she pulled me to the garage. We were in Edward's Volvo and pulling out of the garage before I had a chance to really process how quickly she'd moved. It was as if she'd been waiting for my willing participation in her shopping addiction for a millennium instead of the few months I knew it must have been.

I told her the list Carlisle had given me and then asked wryly, “Really, Alice, was it necessary to practically kidnap me?”

“Yes, it was. If I hadn't moved quickly, Emmett was going to try and foist Rosalie on us. I didn't see that turning out well. She needs more time. He means well, but Rose is stubborn, kind of like you, Bella,” she told me. “Besides, I wanted some alone time with my new sister! I've got you all to myself, and Edward doesn't get you back until I feel like returning you. Isn't that great?” she sang out.

“Um, Alice, I'm not human anymore. I'm pretty sure I could make my way back if I really wanted to,” I told her, amused at how happy she was.

“Yes, but you won't because you love me and want me to be happy, which is why you're going shopping with me. This will be so much better than shopping with Rose! At least you won't constantly be looking at yourself in the mirror and any passing reflective surface and ignoring me!” She rolled her eyes. “So I know you'll stay with me to make me happy, which already makes me happy!”

I didn't even try to wrap my mind around that one. Instead, I took the opportunity of having her alone to ask some questions I'd been dying to.

“Alice, what do we do at night? I mean, Edward never really talked about your night life in depth, and the nights have pretty much consisted of a lot of running and plotting for me since I became a vampire, except for last night. What is there to do at night?”

Alice's eyes widened. “There's everything, silly! We do tend to indulge our hobbies more at night, spending alone time or...well, the physical is entirely possible even for vampires, as I'm sure you've guessed by now,” she said with a light laugh. I would have blushed if I could anymore. “During the day is usually family time. We're different from other vampires that way. They usually travel during the day or hide somewhere, especially if they're in a sunny climate. They travel at night, feed, and that's about it. Oh, some of them have hobbies, and they manage to fit them into their time, but they're usually very portable hobbies. That's one of the many benefits of our lifestyle, to me anyway. I hated being a nomad,” she said with a small frown. “It was especially bad before I met Jasper.”

“How did you two meet?” I asked curiously.

“Well, I'd seen Jasper so many times in my visions since waking up as a vampire, and I knew that as long as I decided to be with him one day, it was going to happen, but he was incredibly infuriating. He left his...former coven quite abruptly and traveled around the United States for some time, and it was difficult to catch up to him. When I finally did, in a diner of all places, I was so excited! I said to him, 'You've kept me waiting.' And he just said, 'Sorry, ma'am,' and ducked his head down a little like he really was sorry. It was so adorable! We've been together ever since,” Alice said happily. “We only joined the Cullens recently, and you know that it's been pretty hard for Jasper. It hurts him to kill humans, emotionally, because of his gift. He doesn't have the same aversion to human blood that Carlisle does, but he got so depressed over the years from feeding on humans that he decided to give the life a try, to see if it would help. It does, but it's so hard for him because he still loves the taste of human blood,” she told me sadly.

“I guess we have something in common,” I whispered.

Alice stared at me, shock practically radiating from her.

“Alice!” I cried. “Look at the road, for pity's sake!”

She turned back to the road quickly, but her fingers were digging into the steering wheel so hard they were leaving indents. “What do you mean?” she asked.

“I found out when I tried human blood that I really love it, too, Alice. It's going to be hard for me, but, unlike Jasper, I really believe that the vegetarian life is the best for everyone. I'd be surprised that more vampires don't try it, since it makes it so much easier to live a full life undetected but...I understand that it takes a lot of willpower to resist. I'm determined to have that willpower, though,” I said firmly, as much to convince myself as her.

“Have you told Edward any of this yet?” she asked quietly.

“No. He was so worried about me becoming a vampire, I didn't want him to think that it was causing me any more pain than necessary,” I answered. “When I told him about how I was changed...how much it hurt...I think he was almost feeling the same amount of pain himself, and he can't even read my mind to relive that horror with me. I feel a little guilty that I did that to him, even though at the time I thought he deserved it. I still do, actually.” I felt my lips tighten a little at the remembered pain of his rejection.

“I really wish I'd been watching for you as he left, Bella. I just have this feeling that I could have prevented the whole mess with Victoria if I had,” Alice said, reaching out to squeeze my hand. I squeezed back.

“I don't blame you. If anyone was to blame it was Victoria, and she's gone now,” I told her comfortingly.

She glanced at me again, turning her eyes back to the road quickly before I could scold. “You blamed Edward, too, when we were in Brazil,” she said, sounding as if she were talking about the weather.

My lips twisted a little. “I did. I don't know that I've gotten over that all the way, either, to be completely honest. Maybe that's why it's so hard to accept his love again. If he hadn't lied to me and left...”

She nodded, and then her head whipped around again. “Wait, so you know he does love you? When did you figure that one out?” she asked with a grin.

“Not long after agreeing to give us a second chance, but don't you dare tell him, Alice! Don't even think about it around him, or I'm never going shopping with you again, not for centuries!” I threatened her and then pointed towards the road. She swiveled her head back into a generally straight direction, but she kept glancing at me out of the corner of her eye. “Edward deserves to suffer a little more for what he did, just so that he'll never try that one again,” I continued firmly.

“I'm glad to see that you're finally standing up to him, but he really did suffer over his decision, even before we left,” she told me.

I nodded. “Which should have told him he was making the wrong decision. I really need to talk with him about why he was so against my becoming a vampire,” I muttered.

“He loves you, and he didn't want you to be in pain,” was all Alice could come up with. We were quiet for the few remaining minutes of the drive.

 

EPOV

I grinned at Carlisle. “It looks like Alice got Bella to agree to go shopping again,” I said as we listened to their quickly fading footsteps.

We're taking your car, Edward, I heard Alice think. I just shook my head and chuckled a little. I knew Alice had been waiting for exactly this moment. She knew that there had to be something Bella would want to buy for herself eventually, and she was perfectly willing to take full advantage of that. I also heard her thoughts about Rosalie and sighed a little in exasperation at my older sister. Alice was right, though. Rose wasn't ready.

Carlisle and I settled into a thoughtful silence. We used to just sit like this often before I met Bella, and it was nice that life was finally settling down enough to just enjoy each other's company again. After several minutes, though, Carlisle caught my gaze. I could see several questions in his eyes, although I was doing my best to give him the privacy of his mind by thinking of other things, like how Bella was going to fit into this life of ours.

Are you really alright, son? Carlisle thought. I know it hurt you that Bella didn't immediately accept you again.

I shook my head a little. “No, Carlisle, I understand why she feels the way she does. I hurt her, I left her, and then unspeakable horrors occurred. Why should she just accept that I never stopped loving her and go on like nothing bad happened? Also, you know that I worried about taking her...soul from her. I still don't think it was the best option for her,” I said miserably.

Are you upset that she really wasn't given the choice in the end, just as you weren't? Carlisle's thoughts were filled with guilt. He knew how hard I had taken my new way of life at first.

I laughed bitterly. “I think that's the worst part, Father,” I said, using the word I rarely spoke aloud. “I'm so happy that I will have her forever that I don't even care how it happened. I'm such a selfish bastard. I am unhappy that her parents had to die to bring her to me, but I'm ecstatic that I'll get to be with her for eternity.”

Carlisle's eyebrows raised. I thought she hasn't made up her mind yet, he thought.

“No, she hasn't. But I will never give up, so it's only a matter of time,” I said with more determination than I'd ever felt before in my existence.

Carlisle nodded slowly, a smile playing on his lips. He immediately sobered with his next thought. I don't know what to do about Rosalie and Bella. The thought was reluctant. Carlisle didn't like being unable to make things better between them.

I sighed, although the action brought no relief, as usual. “We have to let them figure it out themselves, I think. Rose is just going to have to learn to live with her, no matter what resentments she harbors.” I would say no more than that. I may not like the things I heard in Rosalie's mind, but I would keep silent on them to everyone but her.

 

BPOV

We returned home from shopping to find Edward in the music room, playing the grand piano there. This was the first house I ever lived in that had such a thing as a music room. Even the Cullens' home in Forks had been fairly informal; Edward's piano had been placed in the front room there. I left my purchases in my room to go through later and went down to sit on a small chaise in the music room, just enjoying the beauty of Edward's music. I closed my eyes to better appreciate the sound alone, since looking at the man I loved distracted me too much. I tried not to think, simply letting the music wash over me.

I don't know how long we stayed like that before I felt someone else come in and sit down on the edge of the chaise next to me. I inhaled Esme's lovely scent and smiled. She smelled so much like she acted, all roses and moonlight and love. It was a wonderful thing to sit next to her, listening to Edward's music. Her hand reached for mine and, with my eyes still closed, I let her pull me into a loose embrace. It felt so comfortable, and comforting, as I let myself drift there with two of the people I loved most in the world just then.

The moment came to an end when Jasper walked in. I opened my eyes as Edward brought his current song to an end. We all looked at Jasper expectantly, Edward with a smile in his eyes.

“Bella, would you like to learn how to play chess tonight? I know you weren't fond of it as a human, but the mind of a vampire makes it much easier, I promise. You might even come to enjoy it,” he said hopefully.

I smiled, pleased and touched that Jasper had thought to include me in this way. True, he was probably just hoping for a fresh partner to play with, but it was nice anyway.

“I'll give it a try, Jasper,” I said willingly, pulling away from Esme with a final hug. I tried to remember that I was stronger than her and be gentle. She laughed at me a little and hugged me tight, then let me go.

“I'll be honest with you,” I told him as he set up the board in the living room, a room that was probably once a sitting room or formal parlor because it had such high ceilings. “Just looking at you, I wouldn't take you for a chess kind of man.”

He smiled at me. “I've had a long history of war, Bella, and chess is a game of strategy,” he told me.

“Really? You've been in wars?” I asked. I knew Jasper was Southern, although the slight drawl had faded almost to nothing by his years as a vampire. I had no idea when he'd even become a vampire, though. I wondered if he meant the wars of the previous century. He seemed a little young to have been in both World War I and World War II, but I could see him having enough time to catch the end of World War II and the beginning of the Korean War before the change.

“Yes. I was an officer in the Confederate Army,” he told me quietly. He smiled a little at my wide eyes. “Remind me to tell you my story some time when I'm not trying to teach you chess,” he chided gently, and I laughed a little sheepishly. It was so hard to get used to, sometimes, even now that I was a vampire myself. Perhaps I'd accept it more nonchalantly once I had a century or two behind me myself.

We settled in to play. I could hear movement throughout the house, voices echoing clearly through the halls, but I tried my best to focus on the game. To my surprise, I found that Jasper was right. Chess was much easier for me as a vampire. I wasn't as impatient, and it was easier to understand the moves. Still, I lost three games before calling it quits for the evening. I was happy to see that Jasper had enjoyed himself. I could feel it, too, a radiating contentment.

As I left the living room with Jasper, Edward and Emmett approached us. Alice, Carlisle and Esme were following close behind, looking expectant. I was about to ask what was going on when Edward moved forward to grab my hand.

“Do me a favor, Bella?” he whispered so low that I knew only I could hear him. I looked at him warily but nodded. “Challenge Emmett to an arm wrestling match. Please?”

I stared at him as if he'd lost his mind. Then I looked at Emmett. Then I stared at Edward some more. Really, was he trying to get me killed?

His hand ran up my arm to encircle my biceps, and he leaned closer still, his words barely a breath against the shell of my ear. “Remember, newborn strength.” It was all he had to say.

I knew Emmett was proud of his strength, and I also knew that he liked to good-naturedly torment his brothers and sister with it, although he was always careful to keep his teasing verbal with Rosalie. I imagined that Edward, Alice and Jasper, and even Carlisle and Esme, would be happy to see him defeated, even if it was just this once. I nodded a little reluctantly.

“Emmett,” I said, still a little hesitant. “What would you say to a little challenge?”

His eyes lit up. “Oh, yeah! Bring it, little sis!”

I smiled sweetly at him, although I really wanted to laugh at the way Alice was nodding her head wildly in encouragement. “You, me, arm wrestling, now.” I said as confidently as I could.

His eyes wide with excitement, Emmett grabbed my other hand and pulled me towards the back door. The light had long ago faded behind the trees, and I marveled yet again that I could see everything as plainly as if it was still noon. “We can't do it in the house. I'd hate to break any of Esme's furniture trouncing you. Will this do?” he asked, stopping beside a large, strangely flat rock to one side of the garage and looking eagerly at me, like a big puppy. I looked at everyone who had followed us warily, but they all just nodded encouragingly. I think they were just waiting to see Emmett taught a very important lesson in pride, although I really didn't think I'd be able to do that. Maybe they'd see me taught a lesson in pride instead. I also saw a golden head peering out from one of the first floor windows. Well, I knew there was at least one person hoping for the latter outcome.

I gritted my teeth and leaned over the stone, holding out my hand towards Emmett. He gripped mine, still grinning.

“You did ask for this, Bella,” he said happily.

“Let's just get it over with, Em,” I ordered him grimly. “One, two--”

“Three!” he crowed.

I stared at him, puzzled, as I wondered when he was going to start pushing his hand against mine. Then I realized that he already was. I could feel the force he was using; a small part of my mind calculated that it was the equivalent of approximately twenty bulldozers all pushing an object at once. My hand hadn't budged at all, though, and I felt as relaxed as if I was sitting there reading a good book. I smiled a little, inordinately happy that I was able to best him at this point in time. I flexed a little, and his hand moved down three inches. Our family cheered beside us.

I grinned at Emmett. “Sorry,” I said, no apology in my voice as I slammed his hand down onto the stone with enough force to crack it neatly in two. His half crashed into him because he wasn't prepared, and he actually moved a little as its weight settled against him. I kept mine balanced with my toe.

Emmett stared at me in shock. I chuckled. He shook his head slowly, then turned and looked at our family, all of whom were still cheering. His eyes got even wider, and I turned to see Rosalie on the edge of the crowd. She gave me a very small smile before disappearing back into the house the next second.

I reached out a hand to my brother. “No hard feelings, Emmett?” I asked.

He pulled me into his arms, and I let him mess up my hair a little. I could tell he needed it. “No, little sis, but we are definitely having a rematch every day until you're not a newborn anymore, and then I'm going to get you!” He told me, laughing. I was glad he was able to take it so well.

We all went inside, laughing. Edward hugged me close and then suggested, “Why don't we all go see that vampire movie that just came out? I bet it's pretty funny!” There was immediate agreement, and Emmett went to find Rosalie, muttering about how he wasn't going to let her guilt him for not making her go with us. 

I decided I was definitely enjoying my first full day as a Cullen.


	5. Movie Mayhem

BPOV

Apparently the vampire movie either wasn't very popular or the crowds were kept away by it being the middle of the week as well as late evening. The theater was practically empty as we entered. Only a few seats were taken. We smiled at each other and spread out a little about halfway down, in the middle. Of course, it didn't matter to us where we sat, since we could see the screen clearly from the back. But it was the place that humans would have picked under the same circumstances, so that's what we chose.

Edward and I sat at least three seats away from anyone else in the family, and the seats were the kind where the armrest could be moved up to allow for snuggling closer to your date, so that was immediately moved out of our way. I contemplated the possibilities while we waited for the coming attractions to begin. I still felt that he deserved punishment, even though I knew I was softening slightly with every minute I spent with him.

“I was wondering,” I said under my breath, knowing that Edward would hear me. “Why are real vampires so happy about the idea of seeing fake ones on the silver screen?”

Edward chuckled and replied just as quietly, “It's a parody to us, Bella. You'll see. We're going to have to restrain the laughter, though, or the humans who are in here with us will think we're crazy. This is supposed to be a horror film, after all.” He said that last a little louder, looking pointedly at Emmett, who was sitting with Rosalie one row and five seats away from us. Emmett just flashed a grin back at us and settled down with his arm around his wife.

I felt Edward's arm hesitantly wrap around me, and I leaned happily enough against him. He had no idea what he was in for, after all, so I was willing to let him enjoy himself for the time being.

The coming attractions were full of spraying blood and crazed maniacs, just the sort of things you'd expect to see before a horror movie. I shook my head a little at the obvious errors, and felt Edward laugh silently beside me. He didn't have to say “I told you so.” This really was going to be more comedy than horror!

After the opening scene, which was full of shadows, sconces containing feeble fires, and mysterious figures wearing what I was sure must be the director's interpretation of shrouds, I settled even deeper into Edward's arms. I casually pressed the side of my breast against his chest and smiled a little when he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. I raised my eyes to his, innocent expression in place. He smiled down at me tightly and then nodded toward the screen. I smiled back and settled down some more, pressing in another fraction of an inch. This was going to be fun.

Halfway through the movie's most “horrifying” scene, where the vampire was greedily “feeding” off of a pair of humans, I reached for Edward's leg and clenched down, as if I were bothered by the sight of that blood. I really wasn't, though. There was no scent to accompany it, so I was truly fine, but it was nice to feel Edward squeeze me a little in sympathy. I let my fingers relax bit by bit as the scene ended, until my hand was just lying on his thigh.

EPOV

I felt horrible about suggesting this particular movie when I felt Bella cling to me during a particularly bloody scene. I should have known that the sight of blood might bother her. She might not be as easily provoked as most newborns are, but she was still sensitive to human blood. I hugged her closer, although how that was possible I wasn't sure. Her fingers dug into my leg, causing me some pain, but I felt it was all I deserved for bringing her here. I hadn't meant to torture her.

I was about to suggest that we could leave when her grip eased. She kept her hand on my leg, though, and suddenly all I could think about was that hand. She never moved it, but I could feel the heat of each slender digit, along with the feel of her soft breast pressing to my chest, searing through me. Of course, it wasn't nearly as bad as when she'd been a human, so I gritted my teeth and controlled myself. I wasn't going to grab her and race for the door with my parents sitting a mere ten seats away. Our parents, I reminded myself in an attempt to distract myself.

It didn't work. I tried going through the Periodic Table backwards in my head, and that didn't work, either. Nor did translating the entire work of Shakespeare into Italian. I was getting desperate when the credits finally rolled. 

Bella rose as I did, although I was perhaps a bit hastier. She smiled at me. “Thanks for the idea, Edward. It really wasn't that bad, I promise. It was just that one scene...” she trailed off, a small frown in her eyes, and I lifted a hand to brush her hair away from her cheek.

“I am sorry about that. I wasn't thinking,” I told her apologetically. I thought my voice sounded a bit too hoarse, but there was nothing I could do about it.

Bella laughed a little. “It wasn't that bad. I'll deal with it,” she said as the others joined us.

I saw Alice giving Bella a big grin as she walked up, but by the time I tried to see what she was thinking her mind was blank. I narrowed my eyes a little as Bella smiled happily at her and then innocently at me.

Hmmm...


	6. Confession

BPOV

I went up to my room when we got home. Edward followed me and watched as I began to arrange the one indulgence I didn't mind having money to spend on: my new books. Or, rather, my new old books! I think I practically bought out an antiquities bookstore with Alice, who was encouraging me the whole time. It was like she didn't care what we spent money on, as long as we were doing it.

Neither Edward nor I tried to break the comfortable silence that engulfed the room as I worked. He lounged on my cushions after an attempt to help. My organizational pattern—or lack of it—just confused him, so he bowed out to just watch me. Instead of arranging my books by author or title or even century, I was indulging in a purely feminine whim and putting them where I thought they looked pretty. Of course, having come from a high-end antiquities dealer, the leather covers were mostly well-oiled, no tatters or stains in sight, so they were beautiful anyway.

I made sure to stretch whenever I had the opportunity, so that the bottom edge of my shirt rode up over my stomach, exposing my smooth white skin. Once I bent down to pick up a few books and turned just enough that I knew Edward caught a flash of cleavage before I straightened gracefully. I really did love moving now. It was so much easier than it had been for my clumsy human self.

Edward laughed when I took advantage of my vampire abilities and scaled the built-in bookshelves to place some books at the top. I was careful not to grip the shelves too hard; I didn't want to rip one off or tear off a big piece. I knew Carlisle and Esme wouldn't mind, but I was terrified at the thought of Alice's reaction if I ruined any aspect of my beautiful room.

“Do you know how gorgeous you are?” Edward asked me, smiling my favorite crooked smile.

I grinned back at him. “Rosalie's gorgeous, although don't tell her I said so. I'm just plain beautiful. I've come to accept that, though,” I said and bent down to pick up more books, again flashing my cleavage towards him.

“Poetry in motion,” he murmured as I went back to work.

I did love the fact that I no longer managed to trip over my own two feet. In fact, moving was so easy, easier than breathing had ever been as a human, that I had to wonder what my problem had been before. I think I even managed to be almost as graceful as Alice, although I doubted I'd ever be as flamboyant about it.

Once my organizing was finished, I joined Edward on the pile of cushions. He pulled me into his arms, and we laid there for a long time, my back pressed against his chest, one of his hands playing with my hair. It was peaceful, and one of the best moments I'd spent since becoming a vampire. 

After a while, I gathered up the courage to bring up a subject I'd been thinking of ever since my conversation with Alice in the car. “Edward, exactly how tempting is human blood to you?” I asked him after taking an unnecessary deep breath.

He was quiet for a second before answering. “Since you're no longer a human, it's much easier. I've had decades of practice, though. The control comes with time,” he told me. I wondered if he thought I was worrying about feeding on the two humans in Brazil.

I felt the need to disabuse him of that thought as quickly as possible. “But what if you really...liked the taste? More than anything you've ever known?” I asked, my voice hardly louder than a hiss.

His silence was longer this time, more pronounced. He squeezed me tightly. “Oh, Bella, is it that bad?”

“Worse,” I choked out, turning in his arms so that I could bury my face in his chest. It was so comforting there. Some of my human memories seemed so fuzzy now, but I remembered how wonderfully secure I'd always felt in his arms. That hadn't changed.

He stroked a hand through my hair and down my back, and then repeated the motion. “It hits everyone differently, Bella. You're not the only newborn to be vegetarian from the beginning, and you're certainly not the only one to slip-up, either. It's intoxicating to all of us, but like with alcohol, I think that some are more easily tempted than others. It's not only about quenching the thirst to some,” he said slowly. 

I struggled with that thought for a few minutes. From what I remember of my human life, once I had decided I wanted to become a vampire, I had been so sure that I would never take a human life, would never want to. It was frustrating and terrifying, how appealing the taste of human blood was to me. As Edward said, it went beyond quenching the thirst. I desired it for the taste alone, like a connoisseur of fine wine; only I'd barely begun. At the same time, I knew I couldn't live easily in human company with red eyes. Inside I knew that the Cullens' lifestyle depended in great part on being able to blend in, and red eyes hardly helped with that unless I wanted to pretend to be a goth and say that I wore contacts. Somehow, I didn't see being able to pull that off.

I smiled wryly up at him as an amusing thought came to me. “I guess I became even more a monster than you thought I would,” I said, trying to lighten the mood a little.

He looked at me strangely. “Bella, I never thought you would become a monster,” he told me sternly.

I was confused. I looked into his eyes, sure that I would be able to see the truth in any answer he gave me to my next question. “Then why didn't you want me to become a vampire? Why didn't you want to spend forever with me?” I asked.

Now his expression said he knew I must be crazy. “Of course I wanted to spend forever with you. It's all I wanted from the first moment that I knew I loved you! But that was selfish. I didn't want to risk your soul. Of the two of us, if one of us had to be damned, I preferred for it to be me. I wanted you to have a chance at a better afterlife than what I'll have,” he told me.

It was my turn to give him the “you're-crazy look.” “Edward, Carlisle believes that there's hope for vampires, as long as they try not to kill. I'd rather believe in that hope than that I'm going to be eternally damned. Besides, if we both had died before I became a vampire and—not that I think you're right—somehow I ended up in heaven and you ended up in hell, then I would have asked to go join you anyway. Being anywhere without you for an eternity isn't my idea of heaven,” I stated as clearly as possible, like a kindergarten teacher having to explain the color blue for the millionth time to a particularly slow student.

His eyes lit up first, and then he smiled at me. “It doesn't matter, anyway. Now that we're both vampires, we'll be together no matter what, and if we both go to hell, that's enough of a heaven for me, too.” He paused. “So does this mean that you believe that I love you? That you accept that the whole mess before was just my attempt to keep you from following after me, to keep you safe?” 

His mouth was a lot closer to mine than I had realized, and I felt his leg snake around to pin my body down. When his lips touched mine, a fire exploded inside me that had absolutely nothing to do with vampiric thirst. I leaned into him, willingly pressing into his trap. It was so different than anything I'd ever felt with him before. If our earlier experiences had been fireworks, this was a solar flare.

“Bella, we need to go over what you're going to wear on the first day of school!” Alice said, dancing through my door.

Edward pulled his lips from mine by a bare half inch. “Go away, Alice.”

“Nope. Sorry, big brother. Besides, you'll have plenty of time for the ravishing later,” Alice told him. Her amber eyes gleamed down at me, and I realized that she was doing her best to help me with Edward's punishment. Only now it felt like my punishment, too.

Ah, well, masochism can be good for the soul, right?

I pushed away from Edward, grinning as he reached for me. “Alice is right. Go find Emmett and see if he wants to wrestle. You really should make up to him for earlier, since you set him up to be beaten,” I said as casually as I could. Thankfully those pesky human reactions of breathlessness and a pounding heartbeat weren't there anymore to give me away.

He looked from me to Alice and back again, his face a mask of total confusion. Then he stood up and stomped out lightly, even in his annoyance trying not to dent the wood. “This must be some arcane girl thing, and I don't forgive you for it,” he muttered to Alice on his way out.

We listened for his footsteps to fade down the stairs before Alice came over and spread out on the cushions next to me. “So, having fun?” she asked me.

“A blast.” It was my turn to mutter. Then I grinned at her again. “The look on his face was priceless, wasn't it?”

“Yes, and completely deserved. You can consider that little interruption my contribution to his punishment, since he was the one who made me promise not to look for you when we left,” she said smugly. “You can be nice to him next time, if that's what you really want.” Her eyes were questioning as she glanced at me.

I stretched out on the cushions and smiled. “Oh, I don't know. We do have forever, after all,” I said happily.


	7. Storytime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few moments of truth...

Alice made good on her threat to “help” me choose my first day of school outfit. She did manage to keep it within “normal,” choosing a pair of light khakis and a simple blue-and-white striped sweater. I think I looked a little too relieved by the outfit's simplicity because she then proceeded to add various accessories that I knew I would try to forget about on Monday. As soon as I thought that, Alice began chattering brightly about how much fun it would be to get ready together, and I knew she wouldn't forget. She chuckled when I cursed quietly. After the Great Decision was made, Alice wandered out of my room saying she had some designs she was dying to work on. Since this held no interest for me, I wished her good luck and decided to explore the house some more.

I wasn't very interested in architecture as a human, so far as I could remember, but now the very lines and bones of my new home fascinated me. Every room was strictly laid out, with none of the open floor plans you would find in homes built in the past couple of decades, but everything flowed so wonderfully despite that. The air of formality just added to the overall loveliness of the place, and I found myself thinking that Rosalie must fit in very well here. The house matched her in its grandness.

I drifted from the unused kitchen, gleaming and updated as any modern cook could wish, through to a small butler's pantry. It was filled with beautiful china, all of which I was sure was old and cherished. I could smell the polish on the silver in the drawers, and I found it amusing to think that Esme must spend some time on that occasionally despite the fact that none of her family ever used a single piece. The butler's pantry led into the dining room with its table big enough to seat twenty. As I let my eyes roam around the room, I noticed a set of double doors for the first time. I don't know how I had missed them earlier, although I had been sitting with my back to them. Curious, I stepped to the doors and turned one of the polished gold handles.

I stepped into what could only be a ballroom. It wasn't large, like something I might have seen in a movie while human, but it was complete with waxed wooden floors, tasteful benches along the sides, and a wall of floor-to-ceiling windows with doors leading out onto a large stone-paved patio. My eyes wide, I walked to the center of the room and twirled around slowly. In one corner another grand piano sat, and I knew that this would usually be Edward's place. A large stereo system sat in the opposite corner, partially hidden by a wooden screen. Intricate marble columns graced the walls at even intervals, and I could imagine swathes of fabric strung between them, just like in so many of the books I loved to read.

Something drew me towards the large windows. I was about to step out onto the patio, wondering what the lawn looked like from there, when I noticed that Rosalie stood partly in the shadow of a large oak tree. I hesitated, sure that she wouldn't want me to interrupt her solitude, when she turned to come back into the house. Our eyes met, and hers widened a little before narrowing.

I walked out onto the patio with as much confidence as I could muster. It helped that I wasn't tripping over my own feet or walking into the doorway, awkward things I would have done while still human. I never took my eyes off Rosalie's.

“Hello, Rosalie,” I said softly. I wasn't sure if I'd imagined her smiling at me after I beat Emmett earlier, and I really didn't want to say anything to antagonize her. I just wished that I knew why she disliked me so much.

“Good evening, Bella. Are you settling in?” Rosalie's voice was strained. I looked at her to see if the strain translated into her face, but of course there was no change from her normal cool expression.

“Yes, thank you,” I replied, and now my own voice sounded strained. This was more difficult than I thought it would be. “So, you enjoyed seeing me beat Emmett earlier?” I asked, strolling casually over to stand at the patio's stone railing and stare out at the gardens.

I could hear a smile in Rosalie's voice when she answered. “It's not often that someone is able to do that to him, and it was nice to see it. I'll be able to remind him of it whenever he's being annoying, at least for a few weeks, and he'll be so distracted that I'll get out of whatever he has planned.” She sounded completely satisfied by that plan.

“I'm glad I could help,” I said, staring out into the garden, pretending to examine the examples of Esme's handiwork to the exclusion of all else. Still, I didn't hear Rosalie go back inside.

We stood there for a while before I gathered up the courage to turn and ask her the question that was truly on my mind. “Rosalie, what have I done wrong? I thought when we first met that you only disliked me because you didn't want me to give away your secret. Edward told me you didn't want to move again. But I'm a vampire now, and you still dislike me. I'd like to know why.” Perhaps that was a bit blunt, but I really needed answers to these questions. I wouldn't feel truly comfortable with the Cullens until Rosalie and I were at least able to come to some sort of truce. I thought that we might be close, and I just wanted to do everything I could to make that happen.

Rosalie's eyes held mine for a few moments before she, too, came to stand by the railing. It was her turn to look out into the night as she answered. “You had everything, Bella,” she said quietly. “You had someone who loved you, who didn't want you to change even though you couldn't take a step without endangering your own existence and even though it hurt him to be around you. You had parents who honestly loved you and thought the world of you. You could have had almost anything that a human's future could hold, and you wanted to trade it all in to become a monster. That's what I disliked most of all. After a while I wasn't worried that you'd expose us, and I even got over that Edward actually preferred you when he'd never thought of me that way.” She laughed a little bitterly at my surprise. “No, I don't want Edward that way, either, but I was used to it, during my human life as well as this existence. I was used to all of the men wanting my beauty. So it stung when he didn't want me, ever. We had an uneasy peace, Edward and I, and that was jeopardized by his feelings towards you, a human. So that upset me because I didn't really want to cause Esme and Carlisle pain, which I know is what happens when their 'children' don't get along.”

I gazed at her silently for several minutes. “That was all taken from me. I might have wanted this existence, but I also wanted my parents to be alive and protected from all of this if I could. It hurts, you know, that I couldn't protect them,” I told her.

She looked down, her pale, perfect fingers tracing the designs carved into the stone beneath them. Then she looked up at me again, and her eyes were full of pain even if her face was still controlled. “That's the worst part, Bella. It makes me feel better to know that you're experiencing that pain, that it didn't turn out just like you wanted, because that makes you like the rest of us, especially me.”

I recoiled in shock. As cool and disapproving as Rosalie had always been to me, I'd never thought to hear such a horrifying confession from her. I started to move away, wanting to be as far from her as possible, but she grabbed my wrist. I hissed at her, but she forced me to stay. As cruel as her words had been, I didn't want to hurt her, so I wouldn't use my strength. I just wanted to get away.

“Wait, Bella. I didn't say I was happy about the way I felt. Sometimes...sometimes you can feel something and be truly terrified that you could even think such a thing. That's how I feel, whenever I think about your pain. There's the relief, but there's also that horror. I would never have intentionally hurt your family, but it puts us...somewhat on equal ground,” she told me. Her eyes burned in her cool face. 

I stared at her. I know my disbelief was plain on my face. “What can you possibly know about my pain? You've probably never known an unhappy moment in your life. I'm sure everyone has always been more than willing to wait on you hand and foot, just because you're so gorgeous,” I spat out, making the word “gorgeous” sound like an insult.

Her expression changed for the first time thus far. Her features crumpled together, although she still looked beautiful. It was a pitiful beautiful, though.

“Bella, haven't you wondered why I'm a vampire? Hasn't Edward told you my story?”

That stopped my struggles for a moment. I guessed it was odd, that such a beautiful woman had been changed into a vampire at such a young age. I knew that Carlisle would only have changed her if she were dying. What could she have been dying of? Consumption? I know that it killed a century ago, but I wasn't sure exactly when it became treatable. Rosalie must have seen my thoughts reflected in my eyes, at least some of them. She slowly released me and turned away, looking once more into the distance.

“I was always the beautiful girl, the one everyone envied. I enjoyed that. I won't pretend otherwise. I was encouraged in my vanity by my parents. Although I didn't realize it at the time, since my head was usually only filled with thoughts of dresses and parties and boys, my beauty was an asset to the family, one they were perfectly happy to exploit. I met my fiancée at the bank where my father worked. His father was the owner. They were the richest family in town, and it was quite a coup to have his attention. He started sending me flowers. He sent them to me every day of our courtship. The wedding was planned, a lovely affair. It was only weeks away.”

She paused briefly and then continued. “I was visiting a friend. I loved going to her home and playing with her new baby. She was so happy, even though her husband wasn't rich. She did have a lovely baby. That's all I wanted, all I dreamed about. She was the only person I'd ever envied. I wanted what she had, only I wanted it bigger, better. I dreamed of holding my own baby while I was holding hers. When it was time to go that night, I remember looking at them, the happy family, and feeling the smallest bit of doubt. I couldn't recall my fiancée looking at me quite the way her husband looked at her. But surely I just hadn't noticed, right?”

“It was dark, darker than I thought. At first I wanted to go back and call my father to escort me home, but we lived only a few blocks away, and the streets were lit, if quiet and empty. I didn't feel there would be any danger. I saw my fiancée waiting for me as I approached my home. He was with a group of friends and they were...rowdy. I'd never realized that he drank. He always declined champagne or wine at the gatherings we attended. He preferred something harder: gin. It was on his breath as he pulled me to him, talking about my beauty as if I were some prized mare he'd won at an auction. I didn't understand at first. Then he ripped off my blouse, one he'd often complimented.”

Again she paused. This time it was longer. “They left me alone, a very long time later, broken and bleeding on the sidewalk just steps away from my own front gate. That's where Carlisle found me. He took me home with him. Edward...I can remember him talking, as the pain of my transformation was lessening. He sounded so disgusted by the thought of why Carlisle took me. I understood then that I was supposed to be Edward's companion, and the idea solidified when I was introduced to Esme. Carlisle only wanted for Edward what he had found, but it didn't work, and it never would have. Edward has never seen me like that. Perhaps it's because of the way I looked when I first came to them...” she trailed off for a moment, then she met my gaze again. “So, no, my beauty hasn't always gotten me what I wanted. I didn't get my loving husband and pretty babies, not as a human. And now, while I love Emmett more than anything on this earth, I still can't have children, and that tears me up inside. I try to bury it, but it's like an ache that just won't heal.”

“Do you see why I disliked you? You were throwing away a chance at everything I always wanted, and you were going to get some kind of happily ever after out of it, too. That's why I felt better about your changing this way than I would have any other. You didn't have it any easier than me. In fact, you had it worse. So I can't dislike you for the reasons I used to, and it's become tiresome to keep up my dislike in the face of everything else. I did try. Believe me, I tried,” she whispered.

I had to ask a question, because her story made me very curious about something. I was still revolted by the way she felt about my family's deaths, but...“Rose, what happened to those men?”

She smiled a little. It was perfectly cruel yet did not distort the beauty of her face. If anything, the cruelty enhanced it into something beyond breathtaking. “I have a nearly spotless record, you know. Almost as good as Carlisle's. Unlike Edward, I've never tasted human blood. I have, however, killed six men. I hunted them. Even though I was a newborn, I didn't thirst for their blood. I made sure to always have hunted an animal first, usually a big one with plenty of blood. I hunted each of them down, and I strangled all but one. Oh, wait, no, it was seven. I forgot about my fiancée's guard. I strangled him, too, when he was in the way. I found my former 'love' alone in a windowless room. I played with him for quite a while before I killed him.” The light in her eyes was...not quite sane. It died quickly, however. “They never hurt another woman that I'm aware of, though.” She shrugged, as if that was all that mattered. Perhaps it was.

I nodded slowly. I looked at her for a long while. “I don't know that we can be friends, Rose, especially not after tonight. But I'm tired of the tension it's causing, too. I just want this family to be happy, and that includes you. Like it or not, I guess we're...sisters, now.” It was difficult to say the word, but once it came out, I felt better.

She looked at me then held out her hand solemnly. I took it. “Sisters,” she said. Then she dropped my hand and walked off into the darkness of the night. I turned so my improved vision wouldn't follow her, and I returned to the house with much more on my mind than when I had left it.

Alice and Edward were waiting on the far side of the ballroom. They stood there, motionless, as I approached. Alice's arms lifted, and I stepped into them, letting my forehead fall to her shoulder. I felt so drained.

“I saw what was going to happen, but I didn't want to prevent it. I think you both needed that. Sometimes honesty can hurt, but it's usually the best thing you can give someone,” she said, and for once her voice sounded ancient. I held onto her as tightly as I dared. It felt even better when Edward came and wrapped his arms around us both.

We stood there like that for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really tried to keep Rose from being too much of a bitch in this and stay true to the reasons in canon that she disliked Bella. How did I do?


	8. A Moment

BPOV

I pulled away reluctantly and glanced around. “So, you guys don't have parties here, do you?” I asked, trying for casual.

Alice's laugh helped thin the air a little. “Of course we do, Bella! Our guests are usually vampires, if we have any. Sometimes the whole family just gets together to dance and unwind,” she told me.

I stared at her in horror. “Dance?!” My beautiful new voice wasn't squeaky, but I felt like it should have been just then.

“Yes, silly, dance! You're not a klutz anymore. Don't be scared,” she answered, her eyes twinkling.

I gave her a disgusted look. “But I never learned how to dance, Alice! This is just great. I'll probably be the only vampire in the world who looks awful dancing,” I groaned. It wasn't fair.

Edward took my hand in his. “Don't worry, I'll teach you. It will be so easy for you now. You'll see,” he said confidently.

I was about to argue with him when Alice said, “Yeah, if Edward could teach Emmett to dance, he can teach anyone!”

I shook my head a little at that mental image, although I knew Emmett's size had nothing to do with his grace. “Fine, I'll let you teach me to dance, but can it wait? I didn't get halfway through my tour of the house,” I said, smiling hopefully at them. Anything to get out of a dance lesson.

Chuckling because he knew exactly what I was trying to do, Edward pulled me back into the dining room. “Alright, but why don't we make it a guided tour?” he suggested. I nodded eagerly.

“I still have some designs to perfect. You two have fun,” Alice said, dancing out of the room quickly.

We laughed, and Edward led me out of the dining room and into the hall. “Let's see,” he began. “You've already seen the music room, Carlisle's office, and the living room. There are several rooms that are unfurnished, and if one of us has a hobby that demands space we might take them over for a time,” he told me. We peeked into these rooms, all of which were currently unused. “I am amazed that Alice forgot this, but I did notice that there is no computer in your room. If you would prefer for it to be in a separate space, you could take over one of these rooms, although most of us do have ours in our rooms. It's all a matter of preference. There is plenty of room in this place.” He shrugged.

Edward led me upstairs next. He pointed out Esme and Carlisle's room, the first door on the left. Rosalie and Emmett's room was across the hall, and Alice and Jasper were my neighbors on the left. Edward's door was across the hall from mine. I eagerly accepted his invitation to go in. I was curious about what his room in this elegant home would look like compared to the relatively “rougher” accommodations in Forks.

The first thing I noticed was that his room was smaller than mine, which was excellent. I would win on size alone when it came time to choose. The second thing I noticed was his monochromatic theme. Every piece of furniture in the room was either black or white, and the walls were a pinstriped soft grey and white. Even his curtains were some sort of black textured fabric. I wandered around the room, saying nothing as I examined the wall that held his stereo and extensive CD collection. His computer space, seeming to float on a glass and metal desk, occupied the connecting wall, and then, on a wall by itself, I saw the portrait.

She was beautiful, with bronze hair swept up in soft curls and wearing a deep blue gown, practically the only color in the room. Her frame was made from real ebony wood, gleaming with care. She was young, but her face held kindness, determination and a maturity beyond her years. I could see this woman begging someone she suspected of being a monster to save her son no matter what the cost.

I turned to Edward and smiled. “She was lovely,” I told him.

He nodded and came over to take me into his arms. We stood there looking up at her picture for a moment. “It was so difficult to find someone who would measure up to the standard she set for me. I was so happy when I finally did,” he replied solemnly, suddenly gazing down into my eyes.

I felt captured by that beautiful amber stare, just as I had so many times before. This was different, though. I could meet that power in his eyes in full force, I now knew, when before I was only able to echo it weakly. This was so much more than what we had had while I was still a human.

Reaching up slowly, I wrapped my arms around his neck, careful not to squeeze too tightly. I knew my own strength, and I wanted no pain in this moment. Our lips met, at first gently, then fiercely. I felt the fire inside me explode once more as he pressed me closer, and I knew there was nowhere else I wanted to be.


	9. Negotiating

When Edward finally pulled his lips from mine, I could feel his reluctance. He was right, though. It wasn't time for this, not yet. His wonderful amber eyes gleamed down at me, but I could detect the wariness there, as well.

“So, does this mean that I am forgiven?” he asked, reaching up to brush the back of his hand against my cheek. I felt little flames of heat following his touch, and I reveled in them a bit before answering.

“I believe that you love me again, yes. But forgiven...that may take some time,” I told him honestly. I touched his lips as he opened them to reply. “I'm willing to...negotiate terms in the meantime, however. There's no need to torture either of us.”

Edward laughed a little at that. “Any more than you already have been?” he asked knowingly.

I raised my chin and glared at him. “I don't know what you mean,” I said, trying to do my best Rosalie impression.

Edward made a small movement, and suddenly we were lying on the floor. My body, already pressed against his, ignited as his weight held me down. I could have pushed him off, but there was no way I was going to.

“Really?” he whispered in my ear. I shivered as his breath touched my skin, his lips brushing against my ear mockingly. “So you haven't been doing your best to drive me crazy?”

I knew my voice was shaky when I replied, “Edward, why would you think such a thing?”

He grinned down at me. “Alice let her guard down a little too much earlier,” was all he had to say.

“Damn,” I muttered, and then I sighed. I felt his body react to my movement and smiled wickedly. “You deserved it,” I said, wrapping my arms around him. “Now, about those terms?”

“Mmmhmmm...” he murmured, lightly kissing along my jaw.

“Honesty,” I managed to say tightly. “That's number one.”

Edward lifted his head and smiled down at me. “For both of us,” he said firmly. I nodded in return.

“And we use my room. This one is too small,” I told him.

He grimaced. “You have less to move,” he pointed out.

“I'll help you move,” I said, determined to get my way. “Besides, if I had to live with all of this gray and black and white for the next however-many-years-we're-here, I'd probably go crazy. Do you want me to be crazy?”

Edward took a little too long thinking about it, so I lightly smacked his shoulder. He sighed. “All right. But now I have a term.” His eyes bore into mine. I couldn't look away. “I want to marry you, Bella. I want what we have to be permanent and formalized before we even start moving rooms.”

I squirmed, and this time it wasn't in a good way. “Edward, I'm barely eighteen and a newborn vampire. I'm not sure it's the greatest time to be getting married,” I said, trying not to say no, afraid to say yes. Almost-forgotten, blurry memories of rants about early marriage from my human mother echoed in my head. When I saw the hurt in Edward's eyes, I added hastily, “Besides, no one gets married during high school, or even right after, these days! I thought the point was to fit in!”

Edward shrugged, but the hurt was still there. In an instant he rose to his feet and was standing by the window, staring out. “So, you want us to live together, but you don't want to marry me, correct?” his voice was bitter but controlled.

I stood up as smoothly as he had and moved cautiously towards him. I wasn't sure what to say, but I knew I had to say something. There had to be an answer to this sudden mess. I thought carefully before replying.

“It's not that I never want to marry you. I just don't think it's the right time,” I said.

“Will there ever be a right time?” he asked coolly, his back still turned to me.

I stepped closer, still cautious, and wrapped my arms around him carefully, my cheek pressed to his back. I took a deep breath, missing the relief it should have brought, and promised, “After graduation.” I waited for panic or anxiety to hit me, but it didn't.

He turned quickly, his eyes searching mine. I smiled a bit hesitantly, and he grinned back at me. “I will hold you to your word,” he told me, and I nodded.

“Just...no big production, okay? I'd really rather have everything as simple as possible,” I practically begged.

His grin took on a teasing edge as he said, “I'll take you to Vegas, if that's what it takes to get you to say yes.”

I nodded. “That sounds good. I've never been the white dress and a minister type of girl, anyway,” I told him, relieved that we had agreed so quickly. “So, about moving into my room...”

He shook his head. “I want to wait until we're married,” he told me.

I pouted and stretched up so that I could whisper in his ear, “Please? We're going to do it anyway, and it would make me so happy...”

He looked torn, so I kept it up. “You know no one here will mind, and that's all that matters. It's not like we'll have friends stopping by too often. Besides, how many vampires really formalize it, anyway? So the nomads and probably your Denali cousins won't mind, either. Please?”

He sighed and held me closer, if that was possible. “All right. I give in to your superior logic,” he said, and he kissed me again.


	10. A Time to Mourn

**BPOV**

Edward and I stayed in his room until dawn. It may sound strange coming from a vampire, but I've never felt more alive. We talked about everything under the sun, and then spent countless minutes staring into each other's eyes or kissing, touching, and basically enjoying ourselves. This was even better than what I fuzzily remembered from the beginning of our relationship when I was still human.

We didn’t have the opportunity to do much more, however, since Alice came bouncing in just after the sun peeked over the horizon. Thankfully our clothes were still in place—more or less. She giggled and then held out a hand. “Come on, Bella. I have something to show you!”

I sighed and allowed her to drag me out of the room, Edward following close behind us. I tried to avoid Alice’s surprises, but I had a feeling that as a full-fledged member of the family I wouldn’t be able to dodge her as easily as I once did—not that I ever managed it, to be honest. I could admit to myself that I lacked Alice’s tenacity.

We made our way down to the dining room where the rest of the family sat at the table. A black leather-bound book sat in front of the chair Alice guided me to. I glanced down at her before reluctantly taking the seat she obviously intended for me. To my surprise, her golden eyes brimmed with sympathy. A quick glance around showed a similar expression on all of my family’s faces, even Rosalie’s, even Edward’s as he sat next to me.

Alice hovered at my side instead of taking a seat. “Bella, we know that the last week has been incredibly hard for you in a lot of ways. You’ve done a wonderful job staying strong, but I have seen that if you don’t give yourself some time to mourn what you have lost…well, the results aren’t pretty. So consider this your emotional intervention.”

I looked over at her, wondering what the book in front of me had to do with mourning for my parents, for my human life. She reached down and flipped the top cover open. When I followed her movement and looked at the first page, stinging venom gathered in my eyes.

A picture of Charlie, taken over the summer during one of Alice’s frequent trips to my house, stared back up at me. His dark eyes gazed happily out of the photo, a testament to the way our relationship had mended after my unfortunate trip to Phoenix. He sat in his favorite chair, a beer in one hand and remote in the other. Everything about the picture spoke of who he had been, a quiet man who liked to relax around the house after work.

Alice flipped to the next page, and Renee and Phil stared back at me. Based on the gray walls behind them and the vending machine to one side, this picture had obviously been snapped during my stay in the hospital following James’ attack. My mother rested her head against Phil’s shoulder with a big smile, while his arm was wrapped around her waist.

A choked sob escaped me, and I wrapped my arms around my waist as Alice kept turning the pages, showing pictures of my parents, alone or with me, more of Charlie than Renee since there had been more time to take them. The sense of loss I had been suppressing—and oh, how Alice was right about that—overwhelmed me. I barely felt Edward’s arms around me as I stared at each passing photograph.

Finally Alice reached the end of the slim book and shut it softly. She picked it up and held it out to me. I reached for it wildly and cradled it against my chest. Eventually I might be able to salvage a few things from their houses, once any investigations into their deaths were finished. At this moment, though, these pictures were the strongest link I had to my human life outside of the Cullens themselves.

Edward’s velvet voice whispered into my ear. “The police are still looking into their deaths. Unfortunately, your disappearance linked with so many violent deaths to those close to you in such a short time span makes you a prime suspect, so we’ll need to be very careful about how we retrieve anything you might want to keep.”

That thought sent my grief spiraling further out of my control. I felt calming waves from Jasper but shook my head with a glare at him. They wanted this. They wanted me to acknowledge the events of the past few days. Well, fine, but I would do it my way with no help from the resident empath. He seemed to understand because the calm departed, allowing me to slip further into sadness and pain. Edward’s touch helped to fend it off just enough that I was able to feel Alice’s hand on my shoulder, then Esme’s firm grasp on one of the hands gripping the photo album. I heard Carlisle rise from his seat, and then I felt his hand on my hair, stroking it gently. I was surrounded by my new family, and I wanted that to be able to comfort me. The storm of tears I couldn’t shed kept building with the loud sobs wrenched from my throat, though, and all I could do was allow myself to drown in it.

I was barely aware of Edward picking me up and carrying me into the living room. He sat in one of the plush chairs and held me in his lap, rocking me back and forth slightly. The others followed, even Rosalie, and gathered around us. They were silent, and I was thankful for that as I allowed sorrow to engulf me. I was unaware of the passage of time, but I wished futilely for the oblivion of sleep. When I was a human and could sleep, the world would end if only for a few hours, any pain I felt would recede. Now time stretched before me, endless. I began to understand why Edward had wanted to spare me that. It was worth almost anything to be with him, but I couldn’t help wishing that the price I paid had been something other than my parents’ lives.


End file.
